Can it happen again?

I am really wondering whether lightening can strike twice. I hate that I am so preoccupied with this. I have so much going on, work, school, a new niece, bills to pay, awesome friends to hang out with and make me happy. I am even currently on vacation in beautiful sunny Florida and all I can think about is boys. I think about KC most, but lately it has been a lot about how I will never get to be with him again. That breaks my heart every time the thought pops into my head, but more because I don't think I will ever fall in love again. I want it so badly, too. I loved being in love. I still love love, even though love hurt me worse than anything I coulda fucking imagined but I want it back. It's like love is an abusive boyfriend that keeps hurting me and I keep coming back for more, trying to justify why I stay. But the fact remains, I was a good girlfriend. I was a good fiance and I would have made a fucking awesome wife. I want to be able to be that for someone, I want to be that for me. I am not ashamed that I want a husband, I am however, fairly certain that I am not going to get the chance. Guys are fucking douchebags, and it is SO hard to find a good one, let alone a good one to whom I am attracted and actually likes me back. What are the odds that I would ever fall in love with an amazing man who has fallen in love with me, let alone the odds of that happening twice?
Look I am not claiming doomsday bullshit where I think I am just going to be totally alone for the rest of my days, wearing black staring out a window looking at the rain pensively. I am sure I will date guys. I may even have relationships again. I just don't think it is probable for me to think I will find another man who is perfect for ME like KC was. It's a numbers game, and I am on the losing end. It's a fucking bummer.
Fun fact, my mother drove me to the airport on my way out of cali and on to Florida. she said I am not allowed to fall in love with some dude out here and stay here.....I cracked up. Like that could happen.....