I feel like I am regressing lately. I think about KC and the loss and the fact that I am alone almost constantly. It has been three and a half years now and I haven't successfully dated anyone. I have no prospects on the horizon. I still live with my parents and I am have almost no savings. I can't believe this is where I am right now.
But.
Well.
This IS where I am right now. I just finished my first year of grad school and I am lucky enough to have a family to support me while I am finishing school so I don't rack up even more debt. I am good at my job; just because I am not getting rich, I am damn good at what I do and I positively influence kids with special needs on a daily basis. I am very proud of that. Yes, I think about my late fiancee a lot. I remember him and think of him and smile and cry and I remember how well loved I was. I miss him, and I don't know that I will ever stop missing him. I don't think I want to stop missing him. But I deserve to be loved. I just need to be patient.
It's so fucking hard to be patient.
