Goodbye, Aunt Carolyn

I learned yesterday that my Aunt passed away in her sleep. She had been suffering from a very aggressive and painful type of lung cancer, and now her suffering is over, and the suffering of my family continues on. She was an incredible example to the world of what a woman should be; kind, intelligent, funny, beautiful and grounded. Aunt Carolyn never took any shit, not from her husband (my awesome Uncle Danny), her three kids, or anyone. She could party with the best of them but maintained responsibility with grace and calm. She was a real woman, and she cared for my family when we lost KC. I will do the same for her family now.
Last night I had a little chat with my new niece and told her about her Aunt Carolyn, about how great of an Aunt she was to me, and how because of her I will be a great Aunt to her. I hope I can live up to that promise.
Goodbye Carolyn, I will feel the love you have given my family in my heart until my time on this earth is over.

It is time to....

“You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what he'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

 

 These last couple of lines are what are hitting me the hardest right now. It is only through love that we live, and without love there is no life. I know KC's love, and will know it forever. It is how I know that I am alive. But it is time to open my eyes, love, and go onward. I am not quite sure how, but it is time.