"What is hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love." -Fyodor Dostoyevsky
I am grateful. There are so many external factors for which I am
grateful, most notably are the ones that I am sure we all feel, our
families, our friends, a roof over head and warm food in our bellies.
But this year, I am struck with gratitude for something that feels
selfish, at first, but stay with me. I am grateful for my heart. My
poor, torn, battered, and beaten heart that pumps
life through my veins and renews itself over and over again. My heart
has been pushed to the breaking point and has come back with such
resilience and sincerity and an overwhelming capacity to give and
receive love. It is because of this heart, which often feels as though
it is hanging by threads, that I am able to feel the wealth of gratitude
I have for the aforementioned external factors in my life which
contribute so generously to my life's richness. It has been in my
darkest moments when my brain tells me that I can’t go on, I can’t give
love away again and open myself up to such pain, that my heart steps in
and reminds me that to love and be loved is worth it, and that I can and
will keep giving love and accepting it in return. It is for this that I
am grateful; this torn up and beaten down heart that never gives up,
never breaks down, and never grows cold. With this, I wish you the
happiest day, and I leave you with an invitation to push your heart to
the maximum of its capacity to love and be loved. If I can do it, you
can do it. Happy Thanksgiving, dear ones. I love you.