I am approaching the one year mark, Dec 4 will be a year that KC has been gone. I am finding myself less and less able to cope with this. My emotions are so unstable; one minute I am perfectly fine and able to enjoy the company I am in or whatever and the next minute I am fucking devastated. This morning I woke up and was feeling fine, had a cup of coffee, chat with my parents. Ate some breakfast and watched a couple episodes of It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia (hilarious, btw). I made some plans with two of the most fun, inspiring, beautiful girls I know to go on a hike. I came into my room to get ready for the hike and I just became overwhelmed with sadness. There is no reason for this. No trigger. No warning. I am still going to go on the hike because I know the girls I will be with are going to be helpful to me in feeling this way. Also I just really don't want to waste another Sunday feeling like shit curled up in bed. It isn't fair that because KC is gone I lose days of my life. I am angry about that. So I am fighting the urge to let the grief hold me and going out into nature and i'll cry out there
instead. Happy Halloween, I guess.
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