Going

I need to get moving. I am 28 years old, widowed for a year and a half. I feel as though I keep watching people live life in front of me as though I am watching a program on TV. Things are happening to the people around me and I am plugging along I guess, but I don't know that I am really living, like I was with KC. I need to get back out there, I need to feel love again in many senses. I have these goals (finishing school, getting my own apartment, but more importantly having a family). I operate under no delusion that this will be an easy task, but I want it. I want it so badly. I miss the little things about being in a relationship, like buying little presents, holding hands and stealing a kiss in a movie theater, walking hand in hand down the street and even those stupid little fights about laundry and dishes). It's tough to see that possibility, it makes me mourn KC even more. But there is one thing I know about KC; he wanted me to be a mother. I need to be a mother. So, off I go, into the world, truly open to the possibility of meeting someone again for the first time. How bad could it be?