Doin it

Heading down to see my Santa Barbara family this weekend, KC's dad is going to take me fishing for the first time since KC and I fished together in AK. I am a little nervous, but really excited too. I feel like I am in a pretty good place heading down there right now, I am taking control over a lot in my life and trying to do my best to say YES more often. That is what KC did, and that is what I want to do. It isn't really easy, but I am tired of watching the clock tick by and waiting to feel happy again. If I keep waiting, it's gonna be a long fucking road. I started my life without KC over a year and a half ago, but I don't feel like I have done very much living. It's damn well time to start. I am saying yes, I am getting healthy and strong, I am opening my heart to love and life. I am achieving goals and finishing school and saying what I mean and doing what feels right. I am living a life. I wish it could be with KC by my side, but I don't have that choice anymore. So I will do better than make do. I will live. I will love. I will experience. I will grow. Starting, now.